Showing off for a living

Shameless plug

Well, rehearsals start tomorrow. Then it's off on the road, bringing "Twelfth Night" to the masses (at least, I hope masses of people come, as it's a profit-share production).


So if any of you fine people want to see Trilby and I coming over all Shakespearean, come to one of the following shows:


29th June:        Dovedon Hall, Bury St Edmunds 


1st-3rd July:    Abbey Gardens, Bury St Edmunds


4th-5th July:     Joseph Rowntree Theatre, York


9th-11th July:   Burgess Hill School, West Sussex


12th July:         Accrington Stanley Football Ground (yes, we are really performing Shakespeare on a football ptich. Oh, the glamour)


13th-14th July: Lyric Studio, Hammersmith


15th July:         Langton House, Dorset


16th-17th July: Duloe Manor, Cornwall


19th July:         Sibton Park, Kent


20th July:         Kitley House Hotel, Devon


21st July:         St Brides Castle, Pembrokeshire (Lemonysquishet, this is the one I expect you to attend...)


22nd-24th July: Bonnington Theatre, Nottingham


25th-26th July: Crescent Theatre, Birmingham


28th-29th July: Henllys House, Anglesey


30th July:         Lamport Hall, Northamptonshire


2nd-3rd Aug:   Braithwaite, Lake District


4th August:       Askrigg, Yorkshire


6th August:       Tigh Mor Trossachs, Perthshire (just look at that castle! Jeepers!)


7th-13th Aug:   C Electric, Edinburgh Festival


15th-21st Aug: South Hill Park Arts Centre, Berkshire


22nd August:    YAAGers & Trilby collapse.


 
10.6.05 11:12


My Heart Belongs To Daddy

In a month's time, Trilby and I will begin rehearsals for 'Twelfth Night'. Then it's off on the road for the summer (*ahem* buy tickets *ahem*). Our director has asked if any of the actors mind doing some of the driving from time to time. Which sparked off the following, slightly disturbing conversation:


Trilby:  I wrote back to el Director to say I didn't mind driving...


YAAGers:  Oh. That's good of you.


Trilby:  ...But only if certain conditions are met. To whit - one: as driver, I have total control of the music. Two: all male passengers must call me "Captain". Three: all female passengers must call me "Daddy".


YAAGers:  Would I have to call you "Daddy"?


Trilby:  If you were in the vehicle with me, then yes.


YAAGers:  Mmmm. That might be just a tiny bit weird. Can't I just call you "Captain" instead?


Trilby:  Well, okay. But only if you say it in a dreamy and romantic way.


 


I'd like to think that Trilby is joking. But deep down I know that is not the case.
18.5.05 11:36


Doing a reverse de Niro

Things ain't going too bad in the Showing Off For A Living stakes. Trilby and I both auditioned for a production of "Twelfth Night" and both got cast (him as Orsino, me as Olivia) so we're off touring the country with some fine Shakespeare in the summer. Nice.


And the other day I got a main part in a play (a farce that rejoices in the name of "When Did You Last See Your Trousers?") that's going to be on in that centre of high culture, Milton Keynes, in the autumn.


But...


And this is a big but...


 


The farce involves me spending quite a lot of time onstage wearing nothing but my underwear.


 


Hmmmm.


*looks at self in mirror*


*pinches a few inches of flab*


*goes pale*


*panics*


*joins Slimming World*


So it's gym and gin 'n' slim for me from now until September. How I suffer for my art.
7.4.05 10:55


Here's hop(p)ing

Fact: Pretending to be a rabbit for two-and-a-half weeks plays havoc with your joints. It looks like the soundtrack to my Christmas will be one of soft moaning and the crunching of knee cartilege.


 


Still, the show went damn well and (touch wood, cross fingers) it stands a pretty good chance of getting picked up for a run in the New Year. So it was worth all the stress and fatigue and irreparable damage to my knees.


Now, if you'll just excuse me while I crumple to the floor in exhaustion...
23.12.04 14:08


Hopping mad

All is not well in bunny land.


The casting for 'Watership Down' was finally announced on Sunday. Basically, everybody got a main part and then a bunch of secondary roles (some of which were pretty sizeable). I got cast as Pipkin. The smallest part. Basically the rabbit who cowers a lot and occasionally says "What shall we do now?"


I was not happy.


But then I found out that my secondary roles consisted of Nelthita (remember her from the film? No, I thought not) who has 3 lines, and "Inle Owsla" who has (wait for it)... none. Not a sausage. Meaning that I have a grand total of 15 lines in a 2-hour production and virtually nothing at all to do in the third act apart from standing around being living scenery.


I'd been cast as the rabbit equivalent of a spear carrier.


I was spitting feathers, I tell you. During the read-through I didn't know whether to walk out in disgust or just burst into tears. Getting a small role wouldn't normally upset me this much - these things happen in the acting profession, you just deal with it and move on. But what angered me was the blatantly unfair way in which the secondary roles had been divided up. One person (who was also, coincidentally - hah! - the writer) has a huge main role and about five large secondary parts, any of which could have been given to other members of the cast. So either the casting has not been thought out properly (in which case it needs to be sorted, and sharpish), or it is a reflection on my acting ability.


Well I say bollocks to that. I'm a good actor. I've got a heck of a lot more stage experience than most of the people in the cast, a lot of whom are only a year out of drama school.


I'm taking time off from work to do this show. I'll probably lose something in the region of £600 in wages, not to mention the goodwill of my employers (who are less than happy at me swanning off to do a play in the run-up to Christmas). That works out at about £40 per line. It's just not worth it.


So I've emailed the director and the writer and the rest of the production company saying that, unless the parts are redistributed in a more equitable way, then I'm going to walk.


 


God, but I'm furious. Trilby's flowers helped a bit, but I still want to smash things.
16.11.04 16:35


Booked

Oh my God. I was just looking at the Riverside Studios website and I came across this.


Erk. No turning back now, it seems. Looks like I should start brushing up on my rabbit impressions.
2.11.04 17:14


18.10.04 18:01


[first page] [previous page]  [next page]